So, I've been going to every kendo-lesson like a good kid. Mostly I've really enjoyed it. We've finally gotten to doing other things than monotonically hitting senpai's helmet (though we still do that a lot too). There really is a lot to learn and I'm quite excited to become better. Also I'm apparently doing something right because I have two blisters on top of each other on the sole of my left foot and one on the big toe of my right foot. I feel like I've gotten over ju-jutsu somewhat. At least to the point that I'm not any worse than the rest of the group because of that. I still do have mannerism. Like I can't keep my back straight and shoulders relaxed to save my life because I've so thoroughly learned that in ju-jutsu that it's probably even in the way I normally hold myself.
And speaking of the group, some people seem to have quit. Kind of a waste if you ask me, buying a shinai that is not too cheap and then just quitting. At least we now get more time hitting an actual senpai because there's less of us. But the people seem pretty nice, we chat a bit when we're waiting for the lesson to start and after multiple really silent moments in the locker room the only girl on the lessons started talking to me. Basically we're both just shy and awkward as hell. (On completely another note I found it cute that sensei called one of the older guys JP-kun. Obviously we're all young people to him so he can do that, but to me pretty much everyone would be –san if we were in Japan.)
I had also been worried that I'd suck at all the shouting or that I'd sound really pathetic and girly with all the guys with their deep voices. Turns out I sound OK. I can go surprisingly deep or sound like this angry teenaged anime character boy, which is fine by me.
Then again I had my first mental breakdown over kendo. This one senpai was really quite harsh, shouting orders and somehow seeming very disappointed. And I just started feeling really crap about it. I'm the type who cries quite easily when someone's disappointed in me. And when it starts I can't really stop feeling bad even though the moment would be gone. It didn't really help that because there were 4 senpais and 5 of us, you'd get that senpai twice a round and you'd also do a practice so that everyone else had completed theirs and was looking at you. So, I spent a good 30 minutes of the practice being a bit teary eyed. Thanks to ju-jutsu and school that have given me similar breakdowns I kind of handle myself, but never well enough. It's kind of plain to see for everyone that I'm not OK Like seriously one of the senpais seemed rather worried and even got me some tape for my blister when he noticed me tentatively poking it.
Now that I've calmed down it's all OK and actually the mean senpai also seems to have the best eye for error and he'd really be the best teacher if he'd be a bit more gentle. Though that's not very kendo, I guess? (How do I always pick the things that are so stressful, but fun?)
Also this has given me ideas for Abandoned Children and Rinnosuke practicing how to use a sword both before the story starts and later with Chi. Now if I'd just ever get that far with that manga/comic.lol